Mmmm, Smell That!

Do you like to smell good? Maybe when you get really dressed up, you have a favorite cologne or perfume that you like to splash on (or bathe in). Then again, your idea of getting really dressed up may just mean wearing deodorant! Either way, it’s nice to smell good. We would much rather have people say, “Mmmmmm, that smells good! What cologne is that?” than say, “You stink— is that your feet that smell?”
Maybe you can even recognize the scents of certain people. Perhaps your mom wears a certain perfume that always smells like home to you. Maybe your dad wears an aftershave that makes you think of him immediately. Maybe there’s a special someone at school who wears a certain perfume and when you smell it, your heart starts beating faster and your palms get sweaty.
Just like a nice perfume or cologne is a great addition to an outfit, kind and wise words can have the same effect. Proverbs 27:9 says, “Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man’s friend by hearty counsel.”
What we say affects our friends. We can discourage them and cut them down with mean, thoughtless words or we can build them up and encourage them. Have you ever had a friend spend some time talking to you and brighten your whole day?
It isn’t enough just to say nice things to make people feel better. Sometimes we may need to say hard things that our friends need to hear. We may need to confront them about something they are doing wrong. The verse speaks of “hearty counsel” or “heartfelt advice.” We can brighten someone’s day by caring enough to take time and talk with them.
Your words can be like sweet perfume or stinky garbage. They can make your friend’s day or ruin it. Which of the two describes your words? Does the “smell” of your words make your friends happy?

Making Sparks Fly

You should see the sparks fly when a knife is sharpened on an electric bench grinder! Maybe you have seen it before: when the knife touches the grinder, there is an ear-splitting sound of metal scraping and immediately a shower of sparks flies from the knife. It looks like an amazing fireworks display.
Why would anybody do something that sounds so awful and looks so frightening? The reason is because it must be done in order to sharpen the knife. Something that is hardened steel must go through a pretty traumatic process in order to become sharper and more useful.
Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” Here the writer likens sharpening a knife to a person sharpening the countenance of his friend. Have you ever noticed the effect your friends’ attitudes have on you? If they are happy, it’s not long before you start feeling more cheerful yourself. If they’re in a bad mood, pretty soon you are both grumpy.
We have a great influence on our friends, and they on us too. We must be especially careful about how we influence our friends: are we making them better? Are we encouraging them and building them up? That doesn’t necessarily mean we always say the things they want to hear. Sometimes it may mean we have to tell them hard things they don’t really want to hear. We may have to confront them. Sparks may fly. But if what we want is our friend’s best, then that is okay.
We may be fun people to hang around, but we may not sharpen our friends at all. We may dull them. We may simply waste their time. Maybe you have friends like that: you probably should get rid of them. You need to have and to be a friend who sharpens those around them, who builds them up, and who helps them to be more pleasing to Jesus Christ. Are you a good friend? How do you “sharpen” your friends?

Show Me Your Friends. . .

Ever wonder what you look like? No, I don’t mean how you appear physically: that’s why we have mirrors! I mean, have you ever wanted to know what you are like? I’m talking about what kind of a person you are, what kinds of actions and attitudes characterize your life, and what kind of character you have in your life. It’s very hard to be objective about ourselves: we all think we’re pretty good people. It’s a lot easier to be critical of other people. How can we be critical of ourselves and get an honest look at what we are like?
Proverbs 13:20 tells us how we can learn a little about ourselves. It says, “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.” In other words, if you show me your friends, I’ll show you what you are like. If you want to see yourself, look at your friends.
When the verse talks about being “wise” or being “foolish,” it’s not talking about how smart or dumb you are. It is talking about skillful you are at living wisely: obeying God’s Word and living it out in your daily life. If your friends are mean, thoughtless, ungodly, lazy, or dishonest, I can say very confidently that you are too. If your friends are kind, caring, God-honoring, hard-working, and upright, then I am pretty sure you are too.
Why is it this way? There are two basic reasons: first, we like people who are like us. We choose to be with people who make us comfortable. We like to hang around people who share our interests and values. The second reason is that other people like people who are like them. You didn’t just choose your friends; they chose you too! Rebels always seek out other rebels. Those who are dishonest desire the company of other liars. Those interested in their spiritual lives make friends with others who share that interest. What do your friends say about you? Show me your friends, and I’ll show you who you are.