A Little Too Friendly

Did you ever know anybody who was just a little too friendly? You know what I’m talking about: they just tried too hard to be your friend. In fact, they tried so hard to be your friend that they ended up annoying you instead of making you like them.
Proverbs 27:14 describes a situation like this and helps us learn a very useful character trait. It says, “He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse to him.” Here we have a guy who is trying to do a good thing for his friend. He is blessing him, or saying good things about him, or trying to do good things for him. The only problem is that he is doing all this great stuff early in the morning.
Can you imagine this scenario? It’s four o’clock in the morning, and Mr. Too Friendly is in front of his friend’s house. He’s beating on the front door and yelling, “Hey, are you in there? C’mon out and let’s do something together! I love hanging out with you! You are the best friend in the whole world! Nobody is a better friend than you! Get up, and let’s go to the mall together or something!”
As nice as those things are for him to say, it just isn’t nice to say them at four o’clock in the morning! This guy may be friendly, but he’s not thoughtful. He is not thinking of the other person and so he’s actually being unfriendly.
Part of growing up and becoming more mature is becoming more aware of other people. It’s learning to view things from the perspective of others. Little kids don’t even realize that other people exist. They may be scrambling to get some candy or toy and they may just step on somebody else to get it. Unfortunately, teens are often very self-focused. We need to learn to be thoughtful of others so that when we try to do something good, it won’t end up being bad.

A Friend in Need. . .

We often recite a saying that goes, “A friend in need is a friend indeed.” The thrust of that maxim is closely related to Proverbs 17:17, which says, “A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
The first part of the proverb says that it doesn’t matter to a true friend in what situation you are. If things are going well for you, they will be right next to you, soaking in the sunshine. If things are cruising along in the normal humdrum of everyday life, you can count on them. But the true test of whether somebody is your friend is whether or not they will be there for you when things are difficult. A true friend will weather the storm and stick right by your side.
If you have money, if you’re a fun person, if you’re a popular person, you can count on having a lot of “friends” around you. However, if you run out of money and your popularity takes a nose dive, the great majority of those “friends” will vanish into thin air. According to this verse, the ones who are left are your true friends. Remember the story Jesus told about the prodigal son? He had lots of “friends” who helped him party and spend his money, but when there was no more money, they left him to feed the pigs and wish for their food. A true friends loves at all times.
Since this is true, when you encounter adversity or difficulty, the person you need most is a true friend. A friend who sticks by you when you are hurting or going through a bad time is a friend indeed. They may not be the flashiest or most exciting people, but they are true friends. A most important quality to look for in a friend is loyalty.
Are the people around you true friends? Are they “friends indeed”? Are they loyal? Will they be there for you when things aren’t going so great? What about you? Are you a “fair weather friend” or one who is “born for adversity”?

Hurts So Good

I’m not one to enjoy hurting very much. I had a friend in high school who thought it was great fun to stick pins under the skin of his hands and fingers. I don’t really care for hurting myself. I guess if I had to have surgery in order to save my life, that would be okay, but I really would rather avoid pain.
The Bible says that some kinds of pain are actually good. Proverbs 27:5–6 says, “Open rebuke is better than secret love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” So there you have it: it is better to be “hurt” by a friend than to be flattered by an enemy. That’s usually the opposite of the way we see it. If somebody, whether professing friend or not, says hard things to us, we don’t like them and consider them our enemy. Those who say nice things to us are our “friends.”
The Bible says it is more important to hear the truth than to hear what sounds good to us. This verse says that it is better for someone to be honest and rebuke us or call us down than to “love” us in secret and never tell us what we need to hear. Imagine if you had a booger on your lip or your fly was down. Would you want your friend to tell you about that? Of course you would! What if you went around all day like that and then found out and your friend said, “Hey, I didn’t want you to get upset at me for telling you so I didn’t say anything”? Open rebuke is better than secret love.
Those who really love you and care about you will tell you what you need to hear, not just what you want to hear. The same is true in youth group: you may want to come and just hear nice, positive things, but your youth group leaders care about you far too much to do that. We want you to see yourselves as God sees you, and if that means you need to change some things, then it may hurt, but we want to be your true friends and tell you. Are you an honest friend or an “undercover friend”?