How to be an "Un-Friend"

We have been examining several proverbs that teach us how to be a good friend. Proverbs 17:9 shows us how to be a bad friend: “He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.” (You may be like me and not know what “very friends” are; it means “close friends.”)
This verse tells us how to be an “un-friend” and break up a great friendship. If you want to ruin a friendship, here’s what you do: never forget. If somebody says something bad about you one time, remember it until your dying day. Even if they come to you and ask forgiveness, never let it go. Oh, and bring it up whenever you need some leverage. If you need a favor, dredge up that bad thing they did years ago and rub their nose in it. It’s foolproof: if you never forgive and forget, you will run off one good friend after another.
The opposite of this is to “cover a transgression.” Now this doesn’t mean to cover up sin or help a friend hide when they are doing wrong. It doesn’t mean to lie for friends to those who are in authority. What it does mean is that when a friend does something bad to you, you forget it.
Imagine a white wall. White walls always get nicks and scrapes on them. Every time your friend bumps the wall and puts a big black mark on it, you whip out your can of white paint and a brush and slap a thick, fresh coat of paint on it. Even if they come back and hit the same spot, you just cover it right up.
A good friendship can be destroyed by one person who cannot forgive and forget. If we are constantly “repeating” an offence or an insult, bringing up someone’s fault and rehashing it, we will destroy good friendship. On the other hand, if we want to love our friends like Christ has loved us, we must forgive others and deliberately forget the wrong we’ve suffered (Eph 4:32).