What’s Better Than a Secret Admirer?

"Open rebuke is better than secret love" (Prov 27:5).

This proverb says that it’s better to have a friend who will rebuke you in public, if necessary than a secret admirer. Think about it: what good is a secret admirer? It might make you feel kinda special to know that somebody “likes” you, but how does that help you? If you don’t even know who your “friend” is, how can you build a relationship with that person? How can you help one another?
How do you know if somebody is really your friend? Is it that they compliment you and make you feel good about yourself? Is it that you have lots in common? Is it that you make each other laugh? A real friend is a person who is willing to stand up to you and tell you when you’re wrong. That isn’t usually what we think of first when we think of friends, but a true friend is one who will tell you when you’re wrong and try to steer you in the right direction.
The lesson here is quite simple: if you are going to be a good friend, you must be involved in your friend’s life. If you are going through a hard time, do you want your friends to leave you alone? Does it help if they just watch you from a distance and think about how much they care about you? Of course not! You need them to come and be with you and listen to you and give you advice. That’s a real friend. A true friend is there for you.
What if you are about to make a big mistake? Does it do any good to have friends who are watching you and thinking, “Oh man, my friend is about to do the wrong thing”? Of course not! You need them to step in and tell you what you really need to hear. You need them to rebuke you and show you where you’re wrong. Open rebuke is better than secret love. A good friend is one who is involved in the lives of others.