An Exercise in Futility

“Whosoever hideth her hideth the wind,
and the ointment of his right hand,
which bewrayeth itself” (Prov 27:16).

This proverb continues where last week’s left off. The woman who nags, complains, and wears people down to get what she wants is impossible to live with. In fact, trying to restrain her (that is the idea behind the words “hideth her”) is an exercise in futility. Anybody who tries to restrain her is in for a real headache. The writer of this proverb says that trying to restrain this kind of woman is like trying to hold back the wind. How are you going to hold back the wind? Can you build a wall big enough to stop it? Can you make a sail big enough to catch it all? Restraining the wind is impossible! So is trying to restrain a woman who always has to have her own way and will whine, cajole, and nag until she gets it.
The proverb says it’s also like trying to grab oil in your hand. Oil is greasy and slippery, like a deceitful person (that’s where we get the word “bewrayeth” or “betrayeth”). You can’t get a good grip on it. Have you ever put lotion or something on your hand and then you couldn’t turn a doorknob because your hand was so slippery? That’s how it is for the unfortunate person who has to live with this selfish, complaining, nagging woman. Whether it is this girl’s father or husband, her selfishness and stubbornness makes his life miserable.
Girls, are you a woman who is impossible to restrain? Are you proud of the fact that you can get whatever you want from your parents? Are you pleased that nobody can tell you “no”? I hope not! I hope instead that you are a godly and submissive young woman, the kind described in 1 Peter 3:4. “But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.”

Drip, Drip, Drip, Drip!

“A continual dropping in a very rainy day
and a contentious woman are alike” (Prov 27:15).

Rain is nice, and plants and flowers need rain to grow, but sometimes rain gets old! When it just rains day after day, it can really get obnoxious. Besides being unpleasant, it can also be destructive. Rain dripping off buildings or trees can wear away just about anything over time: dirt, wood, or even stone.
The writer of this proverb uses dripping rainwater wearing things down and becoming a burden as an illustration of a quarrelsome woman. Nobody wants to hear a woman nag and complain—especially her husband! She may wear him down with her arguing and bickering and get what she wants, but she does not please God or help her husband.
Of course, none of you girls are married, but someday you may be. You should already be on guard against that kind of complaining spirit in yourself. If you see it, you ought to confess your sin to God immediately! This nagging and complaining spirit is disobedient to God (think about Philippians 2:14, “do all things without murmurings and disputings”). Furthermore, this kind of argumentative attitude will not be submissive to your husband (cf. Eph 5:22–23). While you may get what you want if you complain loudly or nag long enough, it will not please God and it will drive others (even your future husband) away from you. Become a godly woman who is content, kind, and submissive.
Guys, hopefully you are not picking out a wife just yet, but don’t be fooled by a pretty face that hides a nagging, complaining spirit. Pay attention to how a girl responds to her parents—especially when she doesn’t get her way. Her response should be very enlightening to you and even help you avoid a long, rainy marriage.

A Little Too Friendly

“He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice,
rising early in the morning,
it shall be counted a curse to him” (Prov 27:14).

Ever know anybody who was just a little too friendly? You know what I’m talking about: they just tried too hard to be your friend. In fact, they tried so hard to be your friend that they ended up annoying you instead of making you like them. This proverb describes such a situation and teaches us a very useful character trait. Here we have a person who is trying to do a good thing for his friend. He is blessing him, saying good things about him, and trying to do good things for him. The only problem is that he is doing all this great stuff early in the morning.
Can you imagine this scenario? It’s four o’clock in the morning, and Mr. Too Friendly is in front of his friend’s house. He’s beating on the door and yelling, “Hey, are you in there? C’mon out and let’s do something together! I love hanging out with you! You are the best friend in the whole world! Nobody is a better friend than you! Get up, and let’s go do something together!” As nice as those things are for him to say, it just isn’t nice to say them at four o’clock in the morning! This guy may be friendly, but he’s not thoughtful. He is not thinking of the other person and so he’s actually being unfriendly.
Part of growing up and becoming more mature is becoming more aware of other people. It’s learning to view things from the perspective of others. Little kids don’t even realize that other people exist. They may be scrambling to get some candy or toy and they may just step on somebody else to get it. Unfortunately, teens are often very self-focused. We need to learn to be thoughtful of others so that when we try to do something good, it won’t end up being bad.

Learning the Hard Way

"Take his garment that is surety for a stranger,
and take a pledge of him for a strange woman" (Prov 27:13).

At first glance, this proverb might seem a little weird. What in the world is this verse talking about? To “become surety” for a person was basically to co-sign for someone, to guarantee their debts. Putting your assets up as collateral for another person is a fairly risky move, but doing so for a “stranger” is downright foolish.
Maybe you have made some foolish promises in your life that ended up coming back to hurt you. Perhaps, instead of bailing you out, your parents have made you absorb the cost of your foolishness. That’s exactly what this verse is saying. Someone who made a foolish promise to guarantee another’s debts is now having to pay the price. He has lost his money and the creditor is going to take the clothes off his back (“garment”) as payment for the debts of the stranger. The writer of this proverb is actually recommending no leniency for the unwise man who made this commitment.
The idea is this: just as we see many other places in the Bible, if we are unwilling or unable to fulfill a promise or commitment, we ought not to make it. You should use care in what you promise to do for others. If you have no intention of keeping your promise, or even if you think you might not be able to keep it, it is not “kind” to tell people what you think they want to hear. Better to be honest and not make a promise than make a commitment you will not keep. You need to think ahead (see last week) and consider the consequences of your promise before you make it. As Jesus told his disciples, our “yes” should mean “yes” and our “no” should mean “no” (Matt 5:37). Christians should be people of their word. When you make a promise, make sure you keep it. If you can’t or won’t, don’t make the promise!