The School of Friends

Finally! Out of school! You thought the day would never come! No more books, classes, teachers, lessons, learning— or is it?
Unfortunately (or not?), we are always learning. We often learn lessons in life, but a lot of things we learn in the school of friends. Your friends are teaching you every day and you are learning well. As you read this, you are probably thinking that I’ve lost it, but let me show you another verse about friends from Proverbs.
Proverbs 22:24-25 says, “Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.” See? What did I tell you? You are learning from your friends every day!
The verse specifically talks about some bad lessons you could learn from your friends. If you hang out with angry people, those who have bad tempers, guess what? You will become a person who is characterized by anger. If your friends swear and use dirty language, it won’t be long before those words start coming out of your mouth. If your friends are into drugs, alcohol, or ungodly music, you probably will become a user before long.
If your friends are sinful influences on your life, it won’t be long before you “learn their ways.” They will teach you lessons that you shouldn’t learn. Those sinful ways they have taught you will be a “snare to your soul.” They will harm your relationship with God, your parents, and your church.
In that way, your friends are like mirrors of your life. They have taught you to become like them. If you want to know what you look like, take a good hard look at your friends. You’ve been to their “school” and you’ve been learning their ways. Even though you’re out of school, remember that you’re still learning— from your friends!

Some Things Money Can't Buy

It’s getting a little old, but all those commercials that say “There are some things money can’t buy” actually do have a point. It’s true— and there are even some things you can’t buy with a credit card!
Although it may not seem to be true, you can never buy friends. Honest, even though you may look around and see that kids who have money are always popular and never lacking for friends.
The writer of the book of Proverbs noticed the same thing. In Proverbs 19:4, 6-7, he says, “Wealth maketh many friends; but the poor is separated from his neighbor. . . Many will entreat the favour of the prince: and every man is a friend to him that giveth gifts. All the brethren of the poor do hate him: how much more do his friends go far from him? he pursueth them with words, yet they are wanting to him.” We read a similar statement in Proverbs 14:20. “The poor is hated even of his own neighbor: but the rich hath many friends.”
The writer is not saying that it is right to try to be friends only with people who have money; instead, he is saying that this is the case with many people. Because people are sinful and selfish, they do not look for a friend whom they can help, but instead they want a friend who will do things for them. Surely you have seen this at your school: the kids who are athletic, good-looking, popular, or rich never have any trouble making “friends.”
How about you? Do you look for a friend who will make you more popular, get you into a cooler crowd, give you things, or do you look for a friend who will help you be more like Jesus Christ? Do you try to bribe people into being your friend or are you looking to serve others? Jesus said to his disciples, “Whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all” (Mark 10:44).

How to be an "Un-Friend"

We have been examining several proverbs that teach us how to be a good friend. Proverbs 17:9 shows us how to be a bad friend: “He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.” (You may be like me and not know what “very friends” are; it means “close friends.”)
This verse tells us how to be an “un-friend” and break up a great friendship. If you want to ruin a friendship, here’s what you do: never forget. If somebody says something bad about you one time, remember it until your dying day. Even if they come to you and ask forgiveness, never let it go. Oh, and bring it up whenever you need some leverage. If you need a favor, dredge up that bad thing they did years ago and rub their nose in it. It’s foolproof: if you never forgive and forget, you will run off one good friend after another.
The opposite of this is to “cover a transgression.” Now this doesn’t mean to cover up sin or help a friend hide when they are doing wrong. It doesn’t mean to lie for friends to those who are in authority. What it does mean is that when a friend does something bad to you, you forget it.
Imagine a white wall. White walls always get nicks and scrapes on them. Every time your friend bumps the wall and puts a big black mark on it, you whip out your can of white paint and a brush and slap a thick, fresh coat of paint on it. Even if they come back and hit the same spot, you just cover it right up.
A good friendship can be destroyed by one person who cannot forgive and forget. If we are constantly “repeating” an offence or an insult, bringing up someone’s fault and rehashing it, we will destroy good friendship. On the other hand, if we want to love our friends like Christ has loved us, we must forgive others and deliberately forget the wrong we’ve suffered (Eph 4:32).