Mmmmmmm, Smell That!

"Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart:
so doth the sweetness of a man’s friend by hearty counsel"
(Prov 27:9).

Do you like to smell good? Maybe when you get really dressed up, you have a favorite cologne or perfume that you like to splash on (or bathe in). Then again, your idea of getting really dressed up may just mean wearing deodorant! Either way, it’s nice to smell good. We would much rather have people say, “Mmmmm, you smell good!” than say, “You stink— is that your feet that smell?”
Maybe you can even recognize the scents of certain people. Perhaps your mom wears a certain perfume that always smells like home to you. Maybe your dad wears an aftershave that makes you think of him immediately. Maybe there’s a special someone at school who wears a certain perfume and when you smell it, your heart starts beating faster and your palms get sweaty.
Just like a nice perfume or cologne is a great addition to an outfit, kind and wise words can have the same effect. What we say affects our friends. We can discourage and cut them down with mean, thoughtless words or we can build them up and encourage them. Has a friend ever brightened your whole day just by talking to you?
It isn’t enough just to say nice things to make people feel better. Sometimes we may need to say hard things that our friends need to hear. We may need to confront them about something they are doing wrong. The verse talks about “hearty counsel” or “heartfelt advice.” We can brighten someone’s day by taking time and talk with them.
Your words can be like sweet perfume or stinky garbage. They can make your friend’s day or ruin it. Which of the two describes your words? Does the “smell” of your words make your friends happy?

Birds, Nests, and Responsibility

"As a bird that wandereth from her nest,
so is a man that wandereth from his place" (Prov 27:8).

Have you ever watched a bird in her nest? Birds are devoted to protecting the eggs, feeding the baby birds, and eventually teaching them to fly and watching them leave the nest. You don’t have to watch a bird for long before you realize that her nest is an important place. Everything she does revolves around her nest.
In this proverb, Solomon compares a bird who strays away from her nest to a person who strays away from his home. Can you imagine a mother bird who lays eggs in her nest and then never comes back to take care of them? Or a mother bird who leaves her helpless babies in the nest and never feeds them? That would spell disaster for the babies! In the same way, a person who abandons his God-given responsibilities causes disaster and trouble for those around him. In no place is this more obvious than in his home.
A Christian father is responsible to his wife and his children. He is to love his wife and protect, discipline, and love his children (Eph 5:25; 6:4; Col 3:19, 21). That is his place. A Christian mother is responsible to her husband and children. She must submit to her husband and raise her children in a God-fearing way (Eph 5:22; Col 3:18; Titus 2:4–5). That is her place. A Christian young person is responsible to his family. He must obey and honor his parents and be kind and loving to his siblings (Eph 6:1–3; 4:32). That is his place.
Many people today (even Christians!) want to avoid the responsibilities God has given them. They want to get away from the place God has put them. A godly person sees these responsibilities not as chores to complete, but opportunities to glorify God. Do you bring glory to God by fulfilling your responsibilities at home?

So Hungry I Could Eat a Horse!

"The full soul loatheth an honeycomb;
but to the hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet" (Prov 27:7).

Have you ever been so hungry you could eat anything? Maybe you’ve even said, “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse!” Think about the flip side of that: have you ever eaten at a restaurant and been super full? Then you almost laughed when the server asked if you wanted dessert! Normally, you would jump at the chance for a piece of pie or cake, but you were so full after the meal just thinking about eating more made your stomach hurt!
You know exactly what this proverb is talking about. When you are full, you can’t stand the thought of eating anything, even your most favorite food of all! When you’re hungry, almost anything sounds good.
This proverb points out a common sin of mankind: ingratitude. When we don’t have something, whether it be food, friends, a job, or possessions, it seems like that is all we can think about. We crave what we do not have. We want it so badly that we become obsessed with it. When we finally obtain it, we don’t care about it. We aren’t grateful. We aren’t satisfied; we simply want more. We move on to bigger and better things. Ingratitude is part of sinful human nature.
How about you? Are you so “full” with the blessings God has given you that you fail to appreciate them? Are you so “stuffed” with God’s goodness to you that you start to think you deserve it? Are you looking down on things that God has sent into your life, thinking they aren’t good enough? Perhaps you are just “full” of God’s blessings and you need to thank him for what he has given you. Maybe you’re on the other side of this equation: all you can think about is what you don’t have and what you want to get. Is your heart grateful or always craving more?

Painfully Honest

"Faithful are the wounds of a friend;
but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful" (Prov 27:6).

I’m not a big fan of pain. A classmate in high school thought it was great fun to stick pins under the skin of his hands and fingers. I thought he was pretty dumb to do that. I just don’t really care to hurt myself. I guess I really would rather avoid pain.
The Bible says that some kinds of pain are actually good. Proverbs 27:6 says, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” So there you have it: it is better to be “hurt” by a friend than to be flattered by an enemy. That’s usually the opposite of the way we see it. If somebody, friend or foe, says hard things to us, we don’t like them and consider them our enemy. Those who say nice things to us are our “friends.”
The Bible says it is more important to hear the truth than to hear what sounds good to us. A real friend will be honest and rebuke us or call us down when that’s what we need to hear. Imagine if you had a booger on your lip or your fly was down. Would you want your friend to tell you about that? Of course you would! What if you went around all day like that and then found out and your friend said, “Hey, I didn’t want you to get upset at me for telling you so I didn’t say anything”? Those who really love you and care about you will tell you what you need to hear, not just what you want to hear.
The same is true in youth group: you may want to come and just hear nice, positive things, but your youth group leaders care about you far too much to do that. We want you to see yourselves as God sees you, and if that means you need to change some things, then it may hurt, but we want to be your true friends and tell you. It is better to be “wounded” by those who love you than be flatter by those who do not care for you.

What’s Better Than a Secret Admirer?

"Open rebuke is better than secret love" (Prov 27:5).

This proverb says that it’s better to have a friend who will rebuke you in public, if necessary than a secret admirer. Think about it: what good is a secret admirer? It might make you feel kinda special to know that somebody “likes” you, but how does that help you? If you don’t even know who your “friend” is, how can you build a relationship with that person? How can you help one another?
How do you know if somebody is really your friend? Is it that they compliment you and make you feel good about yourself? Is it that you have lots in common? Is it that you make each other laugh? A real friend is a person who is willing to stand up to you and tell you when you’re wrong. That isn’t usually what we think of first when we think of friends, but a true friend is one who will tell you when you’re wrong and try to steer you in the right direction.
The lesson here is quite simple: if you are going to be a good friend, you must be involved in your friend’s life. If you are going through a hard time, do you want your friends to leave you alone? Does it help if they just watch you from a distance and think about how much they care about you? Of course not! You need them to come and be with you and listen to you and give you advice. That’s a real friend. A true friend is there for you.
What if you are about to make a big mistake? Does it do any good to have friends who are watching you and thinking, “Oh man, my friend is about to do the wrong thing”? Of course not! You need them to step in and tell you what you really need to hear. You need them to rebuke you and show you where you’re wrong. Open rebuke is better than secret love. A good friend is one who is involved in the lives of others.